A Nation's Insanity
by Don't Insult Oliver's Cupcakes
Summary: 2P!Singapore, nicknamed 'Singa', is asexual. But no one knows why.[Warning- it might be a bit sad! I felt really sad when I wrote this, but I don't know about you.] One-shot.


**Some people wonder why Singa is asexual. It's pretty clear- she**

**makes it obvious that she despises any act of love**

**and she pretty much considers doing 'it' satanic. She would**

**always glare at anyone who says the word, 'Love' out loud.**

**Everyone know that she hates any mention of it.**

**But no one knows why.**

_She was left to go slowly insane from the torture, to plead for mercy alone, to die in complete isolation._

**Some people think it's because of the times Francois**

**raped her (actually, he never did). Or maybe some random human lover abandoned her.**

**But that's not the case. It was way more complicated.**

**It was not just some simple case of someone abandoning her, or raping her**

**or even purposely harming someone she was close to.**

**Her asexuality is not to be taken lightly.**

_Because of one reason, and one reason only. Because of him._

**Some people think it's because of all the betrayals she had to face,**

**all the people she had to leave, had gotten her into depression, and,**

**finally, asexuality. **

**That's a bit closer to the true reason.**

**But not yet.**

_All because of that one man who betrayed her. Everything, her asexuality, her great change in personality,_

_all because of him._

**Some people can forgive and forget. She used to be this type of person. She wasn't very **

**careful about her friends. She used to be**

**the girl who hummed happily while skipping along the beach, listening**

**to the rhythmic pounding of the waves.**

**But some people leave, and with that, they leave a scar.**

_Because of him, she could be heard yelling from her prison cell every day, "I hate you! I hate you!"_

**The loneliest people are the kindest.**

**The saddest people smile the brightest.**

**The most damaged people are the wisest.**

**Then what are the people who have been betrayed one too many times?**

**Unforgiving.**

_She had one, long scar down her back that skimmed her backbone. It had always hurt when someone touched her back._

_It still does._

**So this is what she became, after all the betrayals. She saw people leave her in**

**the dust, like trash, like the couldn't care less about**

**what happened to her. She saw people she thought was a friend strike her**

**and kill the ones she had come to like.**

**She might be a new nation.**

**But she was the youngest to experience such pain.**

_Everyday, no matter what, at midnight, she would curl up in a ball and cry. And when it was thirty minutes passed,_

_she would shout, "I hate you! I've never hated anyone more than you!"_

**She all three of the categories. She was lonely. She was sad. She was damaged.**

**But most of all, she was hurt. She would cry and cry and cry every**

**night, every morning, every time the whip from**

**her former brother's hands struck the scar.**

_'If it was all because of him, all of it, then how can I still forgive him? I'm like this, so insane,_

_so damaged, and its _

_all_

_because_

_of_

_him.'_

**Anger is our natural defense against pain.**

**So when I say, "I hate you"**

**it actually means,**

**"You hurt me"**

_'If I can still be so calm around him, is it-is it possible, I might be able to love again?_

_Or will it all come crashing to an end, like I had thought_

_when my brother turned on me?'_

**There are many things people think that drove her insane. Some were depression,**

**anger, loneliness. No, those were not it.**

**Others were sadness, isolation, being tortured. Those were closer.**

**But not yet there.**

_She was lonely. She was sad. She was angry. She was isolated. But she was never, ever depressed._

_Depression was useless in the life of a prisoner._

**Pain was not even the correct word. It played a part, but not the thing that gave her motivation.**

**What motivation, you say?**

**Some questions are easier to answer than others:**

**The motivation to kill.**

_Life wasn't so much better when the war was over. When he returned, she denied his rule over her. She stopped showing_

_any particular affection to anyone._

**There is one thought, and one thought only, racing in her**

**head while she digs the penknife into the enemy's neck, only one thought, the thought which consisted**

**of three words- her motivation.**

**Her motivation wasn't normal. It was so abnormal**

**yet so natural.**

**Her words- Loyalty, Revenge, Betrayal.**

_Her scar still stung. She was scarred, and she would be scarred forever, by the memories of the battle,_

_by the memory of how he left her._

**Even now, she can't quite look at him in the eyes and smile.**

**She doesn't know if he knows he's hurt her, but Singa can tell that**

**he can see _something. _She wants to find out what **

**it is. She hasn't fully forgiven him, nor**

**will she ever. **

_The same words always come to her head, painted in red- the color of blood._

_'All because of him'_

_and_

_'You hurt me'_

**Some people think she had the strength to live through the**

**war from bravery. They think its because she was desperate**

**to hold on. That is true. The only thing is that**

**she didn't do it partly because she wasn't-isn't afraid.**

**but because she is.**

_'Is there still hope for me?' she would always think. 'To, finally, look at everyone straight in the eyes without wincing?'_

**Even now, at midnight, she will stare at the moon and cry.**

**No matter what, the tears will leak. Some people have found her crying**

**but don't say a word, for fear they would be killed.**

**And every day, she traces the four-letter word**

**that had got her through the betrayals,**

**the word that might lead her to forgiveness, the word that could let the unforgiving forgive,**

**the sad to be happy,**

**the damaged to be repaired,**

**the lonely to be surrounded with friends.**

_Hope._

**_because of him. because of Oliver._**


End file.
